Mascots and March Madness

            The college bowl games as well as Super Bowl XL – one of the dullest to date – are finally over and we can begin to concentrate on one of the craziest times of the collegiate athletic year…March Madness. It’s time to determine who’s number one in college basketball circles; time to determine who is peaking at just the right time; who’s past their peak; and who will be this year’s Cinderella team. It’s time for office pools and those who protest them. For me, it’s also a time to figure out the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of some of these schools’ mascots.

            This year, as in the past, controversy surrounds college mascots. For example, after the NCAA ruled that Florida State University’s “Seminole” was “hostile and abusive,” and should be changed, the organization was forced to recant. They caved in following the threat of a lawsuit by the President of Florida State. Some might feel that discussion of a school mascot is not worthy of presidential involvement.  In point of fact, however, changing a school mascot can have as drastic an effect on an institution’s ability to raise funds from its alumni as a losing season in major sports. I remember one Big Ten president stating that if his team lost a football game on Saturday, his alumni contributions could be down as much as 30% the following year.

            According to CBS SportsLine.com, the Illinois ‘Fighting Illini,’ Utah ‘Utes,’ and the North Dakota ‘Fighting Sioux’ are names considered to be inappropriate. “Under the NCAA restrictions, teams with American Indian nicknames (why not be politically correct and call them ‘Native Americans’) would not be able to display them on uniforms nor have their mascots perform in postseason tournaments.” Personally, I believe that many Native American tribes would be honored to have an institution use their name, just as long as it is done tastefully. For instance, include a history of the name in athletic programs or on an appropriate plaque outside of athletic facilities.

            In 1970, when a group of students at Stanford determined that the Indian mascot was inappropriate, they might have given some thought to renaming the team after one of the California tribes, such as the Paiutes or the Yukis. At Dartmouth, which bowed to similar pressure in the 70’s, all might have been saved by calling the mascot the Algonquin Indian, the only tribe that seems to be recognized by the Granite State. Perhaps it was the publicity surrounding those two cases that caused a few people at the NCAA to believe they could (a) prove how politically correct they are, and (b) gain additional notoriety for the organization.

            You’ll have to pardon my ignorance; however, I believe the NCAA should concern itself with issues that are a bit more serious than college and university mascots. You know, little things like…graduation rates of athletes in Division I schools which are abominable; appropriate penalties for criminal activities by ‘student-athletes’ in NCAA revenue-producing sports, which appear to be on the upswing. It was absolutely appalling to listen to collegiate football announcers this past fall, talking about players who “had some minor problems with…” and then cite gun charges, domestic violence, stealing, and a multitude of crimes that would have sent John Q. Public to jail faster than you can say All-American. Not these kids; it might interfere with their chances to “go to the next level.” What the hell is that, murder and mayhem? Oh, the NCAA is famous for prosecuting, or is it persecuting, athletes in non-revenue producing sports or in other divisions, but D-I athletes in sports that bring in the big bucks seem to be untouchable icons when it comes to the governing body for collegiate athletics.

            If we’re going to do the politically correct thing, let’s eliminate all of the mascots which might offend some group or other, including those animal mascots and endangered species nicknames. The Westwood Wolverines would have to become “The Green Machine,” unless of course someone objects to the color green. The “Bald Eagles” of Lock Haven University would have to adopt something such as “The Red Storm,” to go with their school colors, although St. John’s has a ‘lock’ on that one…pun definitely intended. No more antelopes, armadillos, or anteaters; say goodbye to the golden panthers, lions, lambs or seals; eliminate the gorillas, greyhounds, Great Danes or grizzlies; and heaven forbid, a team should be known as the jaguars, jackrabbits, or jayhawks. See and you didn’t think I researched any of this stuff. Now you know better. I’m still trying to find out what a ‘eutectic,’ or a reddie is, and I’ll be damned if I would ever attend a school that had a ‘banana slug,’ (U. Cal. – Santa Cruz) a ‘poet,’ (Whittier College) a ‘dirtbag,’ (Cal. State – Long Beach) a ‘javelina,’ (Texas A&M – Kingsville) or a ‘humpback whale’ (U. of Alaska – Southeast) for a mascot. As an aside, I just cannot see introducing myself and saying something like, “Hi, I’m a dirtbag;” it would be just too embarrassing.

            Yes, basketball tournament time is here again, and with it comes all of the fanfare and foolishness, pomp and pageantry that we have come to expect each March. Just remember all you prairie wolves and preachers, you presidents and privateers, you hornets and horned frogs, it’s time to get out and root, root, root for the home team…oh, wait, that’s a different sport. Ah, what the hell, enjoy the tournaments and get ready for spring training.